I was compelled to write this blog post after watching tv in my apartment and scanning across an Essence magazine cover. The cover said something to the effect of "What makes black men happy, (and unfaithful)? As I thought about this question a plethora of feelings both negative and positive rolled through my core. This question is, without a doubt, one of the most complicated and simple questions I have ever come across being both complex in tone and difficult in its undertones. What makes a black man happy?
I would love to start by saying the things that makes others happy is what makes a black man happy. I would indulge anyone to try and debate whether or not color and sex plays a major part in the question. I would love to sit here and say that we are all the same in what we shoot to attain, but I would be lying. The fact of the matter is that as a black man I, with unequivocal certainty, strive for something different than most others. I fall under an umbrella of judgement that most people would crumble under. An immense amount of pressure that has me shedding tears as I type this very post. Most would not understand the enormous burden that we as black men carry on our shoulders. The pressure to be a man in a world where we have little example or understanding of the concept of what a real man is. The travesty of knowing that you never knew how to tie and tie or ride a bike because few men were willing to take on the task of raising a young black child.
So what do we do? We push on, we press on, we go on and we move on. Why don't black men cry often? Because our tears since childhood have went unnoticed and our feelings so unguarded that our wet cheeks bring no change. Why are black men so angry? For the same reason that anyone else gets angry when constantly looked upon as inferior, stared at in disgust, and judged undeservingly.
The black men you see on television shows like "First 48" or "Cops" do not represent us as a whole, it is part of the world we live in. It is a source of entertainment and a reason to fear something that few understand or even want to.
So what would make this black man happy? Good health, security in both family and faith. The right to be myself in any venue and not feel as if I have to change to "fit in". To live comfortably, not debt free but with mobility as to truly enjoy life. To not be stereotyped or looked down upon because a fear that has been a staple in American culture. And last but not least to find true happiness and peace knowing that my pains and tears will afford my children to have a better life than I did. I can't speak for all black men but I'm sure that most would agree.
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5 comments:
I agree with a lot of the points you made, especially the one about young black men not having any example of what a real man is. I grew up in Flint, Michigan, where most of the black men are involved with the wrong things instead of pursing college degrees like we are. I feel that us as black men need to lead by example and show the world that we are bigger than that stereotype that has been placed upon us.Personally, as a black man would be happy with good health and financial stability for my future family, so I can make sure my children do not have to grow up the way that I did but still show them that things will not be given to you in this world.
Adrian, I am glad that I was able to read your blog post. Sometimes we do really get caught up in the day to day challenges that we forget to look up and realize that we do live in a different struggle, that most (the majority) do not have to experience. I will not take this time to address the state of being black in America in every aspect, because I will be writing a book instead of a comment...lol. But, what I will say is that it gets better as time goes on for the black race. If we were to take a time machine back to the 1960's, we would be on the first trip back to be black in 2010, real quick!
The Black man is hard working, strong, brave and an inspirational figure that needs the opportunity to fly like everyone else. Reading this blog made the experience of the black, family oriented, college educated man, REAL to me. Black MEN: know that your SISTER supports you. Despite every imperfection that you have and every discriminatory moment you face, I support you and God has the best in store for your future, if you only TRUST HIM, through the hurt, pain, blood, sweat and tears!
I leave you with this scripture of promise... "Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."-Deuteronomy 31:6. I will say a prayer for every black young man that has tried to become a man on his own, and it is my hope that they look to GOD as an example, if that earthly example is non-existent. Be encouraged!
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU ADRIAN!! This blog post is so on the nose. I agree with every point you made. I am pleased that you were bold and honest enough to express this. Many men don't express this because they don't want to show emotion or they try to come off as tough. Truth is MEN are humans too lol.I believe you just spoke for many who are feeling this same exact way. Keep up the good work!:-)
I'm definitely diggin' this post Adrian. It is very true, and I like how you break down exactly what makes us happy. It isn't a complex algorithm or anything, it is a simple level of respect that everyone deserves. Way to step out the box and give the world a picture perfect explanation to changes that need to be made in society. It is articles like this that make a difference in this world. One step at a time a change is being made, and I hope that change will allow the many generations after me to live without preconceived judgment. Thanks Adrian!
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